Oppurnity is knocking at our door, and her name is Hillary

MAYBE the next century will be better for West Virginia. HillaryClinton wants to join the U.S. Senate.

The sound you just heard wasn't another ashtray being thrown atthe Big Creep.

That was opportunity knocking.Hillary is our ticket out of here.Well, out of 49th place.Hillary is political gold. No, platinum. No, plutonium. Her twoterms as first lady to the first adolescent earned her sympathyenough to last through the next millennium.First, we have to get her out of New York. Someone needs to clueher in. Smart people avoid New York politics the way Rhodes scholarsavoided the draft.Even Jay Rockefeller knew better, and he was raised in Manhattan.The first problem is getting elected. The drooling liberals onPark Avenue don't reflect the state. Heck, they don't even reflectNew York City.To say the campaign itself will be rough is like saying theAtlantic Ocean is wet.If Hillary wants a taste of what to expect, she should watch a fewepisodes of "South Park," a cartoon that has feces as an occasionalcharacter.The ads Republicans will run against her will make "South Park"look like "Barney."But the worst part of running for the Senate from New York iswinning. Representing New York in Washington is like representinghunting at the PETA convention.Most Americans do not dislike New York; they hate it.California is your unemployed, teenage nephew. New York is youruncle just out of prison.Getting elected in West Virginia is so easy, even an insurancesalesman could get elected governor. The requirements are simple.Be a Democrat. Have enough money to buy campaign workers. Don't doanything too foolish.Hillary has the first two covered.She would have to take Bob Byrd's seat. No problem. Just sendBill in.Anyone who could talk Byrd into ignoring the Constitution on thatimpeachment thing surely could talk him in to running for Congress.Much as I'd like to get rid of Nick Joe Rahall, Byrd would replaceBob Wise, who wants to be governor. Why Wise wants the job is beyondme. Surely the gubernatorial helicopter isn't that big a deal.Alas, West Virginia needs Hillary. Byrd is getting old and hewon't be able to bring home the bacon forever.Besides, Jay Rockefeller is a failed experiment. There. I saidit. More than 30 years after he was first elected to public office,the state remains the nation's charity case.I don't buy the jazz that expectations were too high. Lotterydraft picks are supposed to be all-stars, not bench warmers.Hillary plays with her elbows extended. Better to have her on ourside than on New York's.Don Surber can be reached at 348-1245. His columns are on theInternet at: http://dailymail.com/edit/oldsurb.htm /FD:"Lead"